Tamara Dorris

Asked For

Why Didn’t I Get What I Asked For?

It’s not uncommon when things go wrong that we begin to question ourselves and life in general Asked For. Why do wars happen, children die, or seemingly bad people get good things? To date, there isn’t any single answer to the Theory of Everything (which, by the way, really is an area of scientific study). On a lesser scale, we also find ourselves wondering why don’t sometimes get things we think we deeply want and/or deserve. Another way to phrase the overall inquiry is to simply ask, why does random shit seem to happen? To explore this idea further requires a step onto the path of uncertainty. It seems possible that there are three viable reasons worthy of consideration.

Out of nearly 30 years of my research into quantum physics, it was only the last few that I’ve given an ounce of interest in paranormal psychology. In fact, the first time I read “near death experience,” for example, my eyes would glaze over and I’d put away whatever I was reading. However, in researching my latest book about subtle energy, I began to realize there is much more validity and verifiable evidence to support what I once considered woo woo.

Among this area we have near death experiences (NDE). Of thousands of people who have documented cases (including well respected doctors and neurosurgeons who previously berated such ideas), most all of them mentioned there was some kind of message that inferred, “It’s not your time yet,” and presto, they were back in their body. So what does this have to do with anything?

Asked For
girl portrait behind a question mark character

Why Didn’t I Get What I Asked For?

We cannot deny if those who have had these experiences are sent back into their physical body because it “wasn’t their time yet” the indication is clear that there is some sort of plan behind it all. In my mind that plan may have been made prior to our Earthly incarnation. Some religions and traditions tell us we actually pick our parents.

That idea used to bother me because, well, just because. But now I can see more of the grand unfolding. If there is a great intelligence to the universe, wouldn’t it make sense that there is some kind of grand plan for each soul? If this is true, then that could be the first reason for why we don’t always get what we want; something else is in the stars for us.

Another and second consideration is something called karmatic ties. Now I don’t spend any time all studying this because it is purely esoteric (aka unprovable). Oh, it’s been well-documented that people reincarnate, but this isn’t only about that. This is more in regards to things we may have done in other lives that we have zero memory of but full spiritual responsibility for. As an example, if a person gets gunned down in a bank robbery it seems senseless and random. But what if in another life that person robbed a stage coach and killed other people?

I’m not suggesting that you don’t get what you want in life because you did something bad in another life, but only offering this as a possibility to ponder. In fact, this idea gives me solace when a tragedy occurs with innocent victims. We just never know, do we?

However, I choose to believe the great Creator wouldn’t put so much effort into creating this universe just to have senseless causalities. And really, if you believe in a benevolent universe than you know that no one really leaves us 100% and forever. So when things we desire don’t go as expected, maybe we’re simply working out some old stuff.

And finally, the one I consider myself a semi-expert in and the one that often applies is our energy, experiences, and choices. Let’s use illness to illustrate. Maybe there’s a childhood hurt that never healed and then, no matter how nice you are, you find yourself with a chronic condition.

Or perhaps that former boss or no good spouse left you with so much resentment, you find yourself with cancer. These, of course, are serious examples but they help make my point. On a lesser level, let’s say you really want  to attract more abundance in your business or your perfect soulmate yet nothing seems to happen.

Newsflash: something is always happening. However, we have to look at ourselves first. Have you made amends on a soulful level with everyone who has hurt you? Are you present in your body, grounded, and breathing deeply? Do exude love, acceptance, and compassion on a daily basis? What about choices? Do you make choices that take you closer to your idea outcome or further from it?

While healing our energy is a less obvious effort (but equally important) choices are pretty damn obvious. You say you want health yet here it is day number four this week at Taco Bell. You say you want more clients but here you are, wading through backed up bookkeeping, watching Tik Tok and not so much as thinking about the new clients you want to attract. What about your soulmate?

You say you’re ready to commit, yet there’s not enough room in your closet for another clothes hanger. While I focus on professionals, I see plenty of single people saying they want love yet their daily actions (and energy) are quite the opposite. We can always work on ourselves, our energy, and our choices. This is the one of the three reasons that I feel the great Creator has totally empowered us to change, so isn’t it silly if we don’t?

The first two reasons I mentioned seemed to be completely out of our control but the third is not. I offer up the first two however, as a form of solace. Like the Lord’s prayer about serenity and all that. Recognizing that sometimes we don’t’ get what we want and why bad things happen to good people may be somehow preordained or planned can give us a greater peace of mind during troubled times.

But when it comes to you not getting what you want, I encourage you to focus on the latter reason. You always have the opportunity to up your energy and change your choices. This applies no matter how bad off things seem (seem being the operative word) or how sick you are.

In quantum physics it’s a documented fact that there is no liner time or space. Everything is right now. Right. Damn. Now. When we do the work (forgiving, medicreating, loving and making better choices) we can change our lives in an instant. So yes, there may be some things in your life that make no sense to you right now, but when we find a way to trust in a greater plan that is based on the ultimate greatest good, those rough spots become more tolerable and we can put our focus on changing the things we can.

The best way to change the things you can is to is to get clear on what you want and then to explore the reasons you haven’t gotten it yet. In most cases you’ll find it’s the last reason, but the good news is, you can start changing today. Right now. Let me know if you need help!

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