If I had a grape for every time I heard “You need to change your mindset” rattled off from a zillion trainers and self help authors over the years, I’d own a damn vineyard by now. Having worked in the real estate industry nearly three decades(while simultaneously teaching, coaching, and researching neuroscience) I can’t tell you how common that advice is. Let’s say a salesperson doesn’t want to go knock on a stranger’s door for example (can you blame ‘em?). When said salesperson tries to explain this to someone (like the sales manager, trainer, coach) the well-meaning adviser will say those famous words: You need to change your mindset. As if it’s as easy as pushing the up arrow on a remote control.
And never mind sales if that’s not your gig, this applies to anyone and everyone who has ever heard and hated the above-noted phrase and is quite frankly sick of trying to figure out some mystical magical mindset button that doesn’t really exist. The truth is, we all come from different backgrounds, both environmentally (how we were raised) and genetically (our inherited tendencies). So while it’s easy for someone who say, had a warm loving home life and copes well in life to find success as simple as creating a to-do list and then getting done, to wonder what the heck is wrong with you because you’re stressed out half the time and can’t manage to accomplish half your goals, it’s definitely not a “mind set” thing.
Fortunately, we now know through neuroscience that the way our brains are currently wired can be changed. This is called neuroplasticity and it’s really good freaking news for people who have habits they want to change and anxiety they want to get rid of. While it was once thought that our brains stopped growing at about age 17, that fable is just as false as you having a broken mindset. In fact, the age-old expression of “that’s just the way I am,” is also in need of an update. A more appropriate thing to say would be, “that’s the way my current neural networks have me behaving, but I could change them at will—I just choose not to.” Ouch, right?
So while I will not go into the mechanics of pruning old neuropathways and connecting new, preferred ones, I will tell you that this has a whole lot to do with your current “mind set,” or moreover, the thoughts you repeatedly think, which lead to the feelings you normally experience. I’ll also avoid diving deeply into quantum physics, but I can say that our state of being (how we think and feel) has everything to do with the energy field we emit. And after all, everything in the observable universe is comprised of the same vibrating energy, so you don’t have to be Einstein to figure out that our own, personal energy has a hell of a lot to do with our health and succes. Don’t worry, if you feel at all skeptical at what you read in this short e-book, you can read the few books at the end that provide so much science to support all of this that it will make your head spin (but in a good way).
If I had to summarize what I consider my life’s work and passion (how neuroscience and quantum physics can improve our lives and our businesses–especially real estate) I’d say it this way:
When we can quiet our minds and imagine an outcome with excited, expectant, grateful emotion, we can create it.
Then I would say the reason most people can’t is because:
We can’t quite our mind and imagine an outcome with excited, expectant, grateful emotion, so we can’t create it.
You see the issue? Sure,, we can read all the greatest books, watch inspirational videos, go to motivational events, hire coaches, and watch The Secret 742 times (I seriously know people who’ve done that), but at the end of the day NOTHING OUTSIDE OF YOU IS GOING TO CHANGE WHAT’S INSIDE OF YOU. To put that another way, no one or nothing can make you shift your focus, rewire your brain, and cause the natural occurring good chemicals to amp up your energy but YOU. That’s the whole idea behind free will, right? So great you say, but how do I do that? I mean, you read all the books, say the affirmations, and even made a damn vision board, so what’s the problem?
My guess is, and it’s only a guess based on my own life, research, and a long list of coaching clients, you’re living to survive instead of living to thrive. AKA you’re too stressed out to spend the time it takes in your own head and heart to make the changes that will totally rock your world. First off, don’t feel bad. The current societal condition has us living in speed-dial mode. We are overly connected with technology, stimulated, poisoned, caffeinated, competitive, distracted, and quite often struggling in our own skin with debt or disease or both. Been there, done that. Seriously. The good news is that ONE decision can change the majority of whatever ails you. The bottom line is that we have to get out of survival mode in order to enter “thrival” mode (yes I made that word up, but I love it).
So I say we should all say so long to fixing your mindset and start to work instead on learning to use our imaginations in a relaxed but energized way so that we can create the kinds of outcomes we want in life.
Until next time!